"beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
well behold world, for we are perfection. your sunglasses will do no good to hide the blinding glare.
no one can touch us...
ah. so many things to think about. so many things to write. so fewer things that will make it into this diary uncryptically. even fewer that will make it in here at all.
damn. everything is so. damn. good...
doing things i "shouldnt", brought about things i never knew would ever be. i wasnt such a silly little girl to dream afterall...
this is why i am never afraid to step over the line. no one never can ever know what can happen to them.
i will always be willing to take my chances.
you think me a fool for living dreams and dreaming realities...
because you dont know that its all the very same.
i wonder when ill be able to get my and phillip's rats from taylors house. i havent talked to her in a while, i wonder how shes doing. prolly still working her butt off -well, not "working her butt off" persay, but working her butt off- at that restaurant. i still wish i could have gotten a job there.
in 33 days, im going to be 18.
in 33 days, im not going to be at school, but in a courthouse, answering questions to a random authority who in turn is going to give me and my lover an authentic document stating to the rest of the world (including the government...oooh holy shit haha) that we are now husband and wife...mr and mrs gray.
in 36 days, ill be in the councelors office at school filling out forms ect to have my name changed on the roster.
in -alot of days that i dont kno the exact count of-, im going to graduate, walking across the stage when they call the name "meredith gray".
and im so fucking ready!
oh its such a sweet, sweet release from these chains...
sigh. i barely got out of bed an hour ago, so i guess im going to go make myself a little food meal thing out of the scraps of bullshit we have in our fridge and cabinets. ive never known what to call meals properly, does it depend on what time you eat them, or what order you eat them in? if its time, im going to make myself a little lunch. if its order, well damn time to hell cuz im about to go eat breakfast at 3 in the afternoon.
pray that i dont really have much to do today. having chores doesnt really bother me, being hounded over and having some sort of set schedule fuckin thing does. ill do them all if you give me the leniency of doing them when i please. otherwise, youre going to get a very grumpy and cooperative meredith who makes mistakes and doesnt give a shit what she doesnt do perfectly.
sigh. anyway. on to that food...
oh and im down to 117. only 12 more pounds and a few inches here and there until i feel perfect.
oh and the hair. going to make the hair so cool looking very very soon. soon as in the next few days when i go school supply shopping soon.
eh forget leaving for a moment. ive got nothing else to do quite yet, and just one more thing id like to say. after this i wont speak of it again.
ok so most ppl that know me pretty well, kno that betrayal is my 'i will slit your throat into little strips and force feed it to you' thing. you just dont do it...not to me, and not to my loved ones. i forgive ppl, i forgive them for the stupid things they do and say. i kno ppl make mistakes. its human.
but there are steps you can take too far, even against me.
and you did that. now im not going to ever tell you, and im never going to make you suffer for what you did. im going to let you go on with whatever the hell you do with your life and think that i never knew and feel no guilt for it because you think its so. but im done with you...i have no need for a person like that, and i have no need for a person like you.
everybody, always trust that little feeling in the back of your mind, even if ure completely confused why it would be there at all. there is always a reason.
"constant vigilance!" haha ok no. mad-eye isnt exactly how i want to go about ranting off life lessons. he'd be a very extreme start to say the least.
((oh and i love the fact that only hp fans have even the slightest idea what im saying. it was just said for the funny anyway))
SHIT OK IM GOING NOW! damn. quit rushing me.
oh god what beast did this? i couldnt have...jesus i just dont know...
2:25 pm - 08.05.07
Recent entries:
07.06.16//there's one broken cobblestone still clinging to the bridge
06.30.16//digression of glitter, shiny, and sparkle!
06.27.16//half a life ago
12.15.11//sometimes, you've got to love what's good for you.
09.26.11//you are my beginning to my never-end
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