sigh.
there are so many things i want to say to so many ppl...but im having a hard enough time situating my ness that i dont want to waste a moment dealing with everybody elses anymore. i shouldnt feel like i have to help everyone, or that i am obligated to put ppl right, tell them things will work out, ect ect. they need to learn to deal themselves. ill only be there to say that.
i need to go to college so i can have some new friends already.
new names in my phone so phillip can go thru it and ask me "whos this, whos this, whos this?" and i can say "this girl from here, this girl from here, this girl from here that i told you she did this..."
all of whom will be potheads, or some form of, cuz i just cant be friends with ppl who dont smoke. smoking with a new friend is fun, a bonding experience. im looking forward to spending my $5 for lunch on a sweet to smoke with my new friend in my car, then going back to class with them high as hell and being the only 2 who kno we're high. and laughing histerically at eachother from across the room. for no reason.
god this is me. how could this possibly be bad?
anywho, im going to wcjc in the spring. to "whack-jack"! a school that is not even cool enough for its stupid nickname. im prolly going to be take cosmotology, from what i hear its one class the whole day and all you do is learn about and cut hair and paint nails ect ect.
i really dont want to do that...but honestly i cant figure out what i want to do that wont complicate my life too much. that seems simple enough, i love makeup and i love hair and making pretty. and i think id make a good cosmotologist...or whatever. hmm. makeup arteest meredith gray?
anyway. BIG NEWS PPL!:
phillip got me
the most
beautiful
spectacular
amazing
sparkly
beautiful
(did i mention beautiful???)
engagement ring!!!!
EEEE!!
my laptop's camera wont do its beauty justice. ill wait til sunday when i get my camera, then i will upload millions of photos of it from every angle.
right now its stuck on my ring finger...its a size 4 and i need a 7, but i just wanted to put it on one last time, and indeed, it was the last time i could get it on. or off. its going to take alot of soap and water to get it off....but who cares! its beautiful and i loooove it.
"you're going to be a good girl now?"
yes.
yes.
i still havent gone to see my probation officer. im afraid if i step foot in the office that she'll send me to jail. but i have $150 in probation fees and $200+ in court fees (which is bullshit) to pay off before the 18th. the day i get off probation!
its really taking a toll on my life not being able to go to walmart. my mom took ethan up there to show him off (im extremely lonely now cuz of it...and i dont even have anything to smoke), she wanted me to go with her too so i could buy some things for myself...which means new clothes, which would be a damn GOOD thing, i havent shopped in forever...but no. cant go. i mean, i could...but id rather not be so stupid. i could just imagine, walking around, "you're so beautiful, omg hes so cute!" blahblahblah from all these ugly walmart ppl i dont kno and dont care about, and then suddenly...cuffs! lack of explanation for my stupidity! "oh you're on probation? oh you're fucked!"
yea. not such a fan of being fucked.
19 in 4days.
itll be fun to say "im 19".
i think...
12:23 pm - 09.03.08
Recent entries:
07.06.16//there's one broken cobblestone still clinging to the bridge
06.30.16//digression of glitter, shiny, and sparkle!
06.27.16//half a life ago
12.15.11//sometimes, you've got to love what's good for you.
09.26.11//you are my beginning to my never-end
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