damn it all.
i do rather hate that i play those stupid games...
someday i hope to sit down and tell you my whole life story. theres so much you dont kno, and so much id love to share with you. but i just cant right now. if i could, ud already kno. because i just cant wait to let you kno everything. but ill know when the time is right. i think youll be surprised.
surprised bad or surprised good, i dont kno. but surprised you will be.
fuckingsigh.
im so...manythings right now.
gaahhh.
frustrated mainly. i sorta feel like the flavor of the week. which is stupid. very stupid.
also, my playlist refuses to adjust the songs. even tho ive done that shit 3 fucking times now. whatever.
maybe its partial to guernica.
and im also...lost for words. i cant keep track of what i want to say. its pissing me off. this entry isnt going to make any sense or seem to be meaningful at all, when it so is.
i miss so many ppl. life is not worth all the loss sometimes.
its better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all is so not fucking true.
for the most part.
honestly id rather not kno im missing.
i cant help but believe that i definitely chose the extremely boring all pretty flowers and sunshine bullshit at the fork in the road. and since that first fork, ive just kept forking off to even more boring choices.
not to say that my life isnt eventful...but its not right. its just not right.
i should have turned left.
gosh. it must seem to you that im so unhappy.
im not. at all. i live in reality, and reality is good for me. but to write on and on about how happy i am is well...just not me. ha. it is strange i kno. ive just become very nostalgic in my day. ill get over my pathetic miseries. always do.
but there will always be those things that i will think about. things that u will never kno...will never want to kno...and then some things that only you can make me stop thinking about.
whenever u give me closure, is when ill stop. until then...well.
i want to lose weight. so bad. i want to be size 0 skinny. in fact, i think i might get off my computer right now, go do some unpleasant thing and come back in my room and run in place. then do crunches. then maybe some jumping jacks. then maybe a few leg lifts.
i will be skinny.
i will fit into all my jeans again, as well as my skinniest jeans.
i will weigh less than 110 again.
and i will do it soon.
whatever it takes.
11:08 pm - 07.08.08
Recent entries:
07.06.16//there's one broken cobblestone still clinging to the bridge
06.30.16//digression of glitter, shiny, and sparkle!
06.27.16//half a life ago
12.15.11//sometimes, you've got to love what's good for you.
09.26.11//you are my beginning to my never-end
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