yesterday:
today is the day the world was greeted by a happier girl, whose heart is full of contentment and love for a boy so perfected by the gods, its hard to believe he's true...but he is, surely real, so theres now a permanent smile in her soul, one of which had lost all hope until he was found...
because, text message from james, saturday march 13th, 7:41pm:
you're the best thing to happen to me since weed and you're infinitely more substinitive. im not going to lie to myself and you about how i feel anymore. just because my constantly overly analytical mind says i should feel one way doesnt mean i must or that i do. i love you meredith. you've made this year more perfect than anyone could ask for. whether this lasts a day, a year, or the rest of our lives, it shouldnt matter. i love you now. understand that im james and sometimes that means my brain gets bossy in an advise only area; namely, loving you.
___
i had the best days/night, transition from friday to saturday. it really was amazing.
you really are so amazing...
like ive said, my world dances on its axis. now i understand why the it tilted 3inches. our energies clashed, too much love for natural existance maybe, and the earth was forced to accept it. the love/hate equilibrium was off-set.
amazing eh? :]
i love you. ohh, myyy, gossshhhh....
i am so glad, for everything ive ever searched for, for nothing ive ever found....
i love to love you. im obsessing about it, yes. how can i not?
i cannot say i kno how to love correctly. or supremely. but i do kno how to love, generally speaking. i do kno what love is, what love feels like. i kno the difference between trying to love, and actually loving. so very simple. it comes natural, effortless.
how is it i kno this, this love, to be true? i kno you wonder, because there is no solid proof, no evidence to hold in your hands, no reasoning your mind will accept....
well i kno on my behalf, because i didnt have to ask for it, or try to find it, or someone show me where it is. it wasnt forced upon me, i didnt make myself, nothing but the natural forces of whatever, wherever....
quite truly, i had given up search, had given hope, given up faith, of anything in that reality to be existant.
you never find it, if you're looking for it...
and then, voila.
good choices lead to better choices lead to most amazing choices....lead to a most amazing, fulfilled life.
its hard for me to write about this in the way that i want to. i want the words to come out beautiful and poetic, almost not understandable, but completely understandable in the heart. but its so hard, cuz im so slapstick fucking happy, all i wanna do is run around in circles and sing and dance and rejoice, say things like OHEMGEE and EEEEEEEEE!!!......
you've stolen my heart. my stupid mind doesnt kno what to do without it.
2:40 pm - 03.14.10
Recent entries:
07.06.16//there's one broken cobblestone still clinging to the bridge
06.30.16//digression of glitter, shiny, and sparkle!
06.27.16//half a life ago
12.15.11//sometimes, you've got to love what's good for you.
09.26.11//you are my beginning to my never-end
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