so lets see.
officially,
one of my good friends got married and moved away.
one of them moved to college station, and doesnt want anything to do with me when she comes down to be with her boyfriend. (kharma...)
uhh, one of them isnt really a very good friend but i still call her one, and she never wants to hang out unless no one else is around.
one of ex-friends went completely psycho on me, hence the "ex".
my other good friend goes to school in the morning, works in the afternoons, and then has her own life...which is fine.
one of my good friends is moving far far away and ill prolly never see her/talk to her again.
the other good friend that i have/had...prolly has been told by her sisters lesbian lover that im bad energy or something. or im just not as interesting...idk.
anybody i could ever call...well, theres no one now.
i feel so empty....
heres the rest of mine and amy's messages:
From: chasing amy.....?
Date: Nov 28, 2008 2:10 PM
when you calm down we can talk. and if you don't want to, that's fine too.
mere, i didn't make any of this up in my head. those were your words. i was trying to tell you that before you got all bent up and shit, but you wouldn't give me the chance.
honestly, had i known that all you wanted to do was yell i wouldn't have taken your call and i wouldn't have answered this letter. i was giving you the chance to clear this all up. and i still will if later you decide that is what you want. but i don't deal in this yelling, screaming, cursing, bullshit. i just won't. if you want to talk to me like a mature adult then i'm here. i think philip will agree with me on this as well that shouting obscenities isn't the way to resolve this. if that is even what you want to do. allen even said that he thought i should give you the chance to clear your name. and if you really valued my friendship at all then setting this right will matter to you. if not, then i've lost nothing and neither have you.
now, i went into labor three nights ago in san antonio. i went to help allen clear up his legal matters and i wound up dialating to 3 centimeters with contractions 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart. the doctors were nervous b/c i couldn't feel them even though they were pretty strong. they were able to stop my labor, but it could happen any day now.
i'm very weak and shouldn't even be leaving the house. this is really a lot of drama for me right now, so i would appreciate it, if as a mom, you could respect my desires to keep this as civilized as possible. if all you want to do is be angry then just don't respond. i'll get the point.
MAYBE U WOULDNT HAVE DRAMA IF U DIDNT CREATE IT? just a thought.
From: inhibitor M;;
Date: Nov 29, 2008 10:05 AM
im sry hun, but u were my friend once upon a time.
obviously it didnt matter to you oh too much if you're still sitting there trying to tell me about these things i did to you that NEVER happened and wouldve never even been talked of had you not thought them. their YOUR thoughts, not the truth. at all. and im not going to sit here defending myself against something someone made up in their head off of a bunch of normal everyday things that just happened to be a shitton of coincidences, and the rest assumptions.
i wasnt trying to scream at you ever, if u had been there, allen answered the phone and i was bawling my fucking eyes out. you have NO fucking clue how upset you made me, cuz i actually cared. but now i dont.
its funny how i can say that, and still be crying. go figure.
have a nice life with allen and angelo.
love always, mere.
From: chasing amy.....?
Date: Nov 29, 2008 2:34 PM
i could send you the text if you like. and brandi and cody were standing right next to me when you said that. but since defending yourself is more important than keeping a friend you weren't much of one to begin with anyway. i've lost nothing. later mere. best wishes to you and yours.
and i had to have the last words:
yep. fuck all the bullshit and ur imaginary drama.
i dont kno what to say to her otherwise! if anybody followed all those messages, im telling the truth when i say i have NO FUCKING CLUE what the hell she is talking about!
oh, did i mention that all this bullshit happened like 2-3wks ago, and in between then ive already hung out with her multiple times and gone to her babyshower. which was BORING! anyway.
see look,
they asked me if i knew where to get a 20sack right. well we just got this new guy who hooks it uppp, so obviously id want my friends to go to him and get a lot of mj for their buck right. well as they're leaving the store, brandi's car breaks down, like explodes and shit. well while theyre out there trying to fix it, 4 cops drive by, and the undercover drug cop stops and runs their plates and looks in their car and shit.
well i get a phonecall saying that all this happened, and im freaking out cuz i thought that brandi got caught or somethin and got taken to jail, and i was like oh no omg...but no, nothing happened. they got the car fixed or whatever, left, werent in trouble.
SO HOW IS IT MY FAULT THAT THE CAR BROKE DOWN, THE COPS SHOWED UP, YADAYADA!? seriously?!
and then the part that she had first messaged me about, something about me saying "well im not the one fucking allen" (which, swear to god, i dont remember saying that, but if i did why should it matter anyway?), was just plain conversation in the middle of the day, obviously something NOT very important cuz i dont even remember talking about it.
so do you see how she just took all this shit, and concocted some wild fucking story in her head?
it prolly wouldnt have bothered me so much...or i would have actually tried to talk to her about it, had she not completely attacked me out of nowhere, and said all those rediculous far out and fucking RUDE shit to me. trying to get my fix and shit...god what the hell.
im trying to make myself feel better about this...i just cant tho.
im also trying to pretend it doesnt bother me. haha, thats not working.
fuckingsigh.
9:25 am - 11.30.08
Recent entries:
07.06.16//there's one broken cobblestone still clinging to the bridge
06.30.16//digression of glitter, shiny, and sparkle!
06.27.16//half a life ago
12.15.11//sometimes, you've got to love what's good for you.
09.26.11//you are my beginning to my never-end
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